First steps are always shaky
They’re tentative
But as you keep walking you get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and then
All of a sudden
You stop
You don’t pause, you stop
Because until then, you never paused
Life engulfed you like a whirlwind, pulling you and pushing you dragging you in every possible direction until you fall
And when you fall it mocks you
You hear the taunts even when you shut your ears
“You just want attention.”
“You’re too young to feel so negative.”
“You aren’t depressed, it’s all in your head.”
And these voices
Oh, they go on and on and on and on until you’re crying
And you’re no longer trying
Because what’s the point
You still walk because you have no other choice
And every step feels like you’re Sisyphus going on and going on and going on while nothing changes and everything remains the same
They say “Fake it til you make it” so that’s what you do
Every time someone says, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
You shake your head and say “I’m fine.”
“But I’m just trying to-”
“I’m fine.”
“Please don’t push me away-”
“I said I’m fine.”
You whisper, “I’m fine.”
You whisper it like you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re fine when you’re not
But hey,
It’s okay to not be okay
And when you realise that
You take a step again
You’re taking your first step again
And first steps are always shaky
They’re tentative
But as you keep walking you get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and this time you’re not walking alone
Every now and then you pause to admire the view
And hey,
You may trip, you may stumble but you won’t fall and you will not crumble because this time
There’ll be someone to catch you
